Being a mom is already a full-time emotional rollercoaster. Add Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) to the mix, and it can feel like you’re constantly fighting to stay afloat—mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. For many moms living with BPD, the daily challenges are intensified by deep feelings of guilt, overwhelming emotional triggers, and a fear of not being "enough" for their children.

As Filipino moms, we’re often raised with the mindset of self-sacrifice, putting family first, and always being the strong one. But what happens when your mind feels like it’s working against you? When you're silently battling emotional dysregulation while trying to raise kids with love and stability? This is the reality of many moms living with BPD.

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition marked by intense emotional instability, impulsivity, fear of abandonment, and difficulties in maintaining relationships. People with BPD often experience mood swings, chronic feelings of emptiness, and a distorted self-image.

For moms, this often means:

• Feeling emotionally overwhelmed by parenting demands
• Intense guilt after losing patience or snapping at their children
• Difficulty regulating emotions during everyday stressors
• Fear that they’re damaging their kids or being “bad moms”
• Struggling to balance self-care with motherhood

Let’s take a deeper look at how this manifests in real life—and how we can start breaking the stigma around it, especially in the Philippine context.

The Heavy Weight of Mom Guilt

Every mom feels guilt from time to time. But for a mom with BPD, guilt can become all-consuming. Something as small as forgetting a school task or raising your voice can spiral into intense self-hatred.

You may hear thoughts like

“I’m the worst mom ever.”

“My kids would be better off without me.”

“I’ve failed them again.”

These thoughts aren’t just passing feelings—they feel like facts when you’re struggling with BPD. And since BPD often involves a harsh inner critic, these negative thoughts can linger for hours or days.

In Filipino culture, there’s added pressure to be a "martir" nanay—a mom who gives everything, never complains, and always does things right. This unrealistic expectation only fuels the guilt when you feel like you’ve fallen short.

Common Emotional Triggers for Moms with BPD

1. Tantrums and Chaos

A toddler’s meltdown can be emotionally overwhelming for any parent. But for a mom with BPD, it can feel like personal rejection or failure. The noise, the screaming, the defiance—it can all trigger intense frustration or even rage.

2. Feeling Ignored or Unappreciated

Being overlooked or feeling invisible can trigger deep abandonment wounds. Something as simple as your partner or child not thanking you or acknowledging your efforts can feel like betrayal.

3. Conflict with Your Spouse or Family

Filipino family life is deeply intertwined. But when conflicts arise—especially in extended family situations—it can lead to emotional spirals. For someone with BPD, the fear of losing someone or being “left behind” is amplified.

4. Social Media Comparisons

Seeing “perfect” moms online can trigger intense feelings of inadequacy. When you’re already doubting yourself, it’s easy to fall into a shame spiral from comparing your real, messy life to someone’s highlight reel.

The Battle Between Love and Instability

Moms with BPD love their children deeply. Many go out of their way to provide love, care, and stability. But when emotional triggers hit, it can feel like love and dysregulation are in constant conflict.

You may find yourself:

Going from joyful to angry in seconds

Crying in the bathroom because you feel like a failure

Overcompensating with gifts or affection after an outburst

Apologizing repeatedly and feeling ashamed

This emotional tug-of-war can be exhausting and heartbreaking.

Raising Awareness and Breaking the Stigma in the Philippines

In the Philippines, mental health is still a taboo topic in many families. BPD is often misunderstood, mislabeled, or dismissed entirely. People may say:

"Ganyan lang ‘yan, emotional lang talaga siya."

"Drama lang ‘yan, arte mo masyado."

"Wala ‘yan, isipin mo nalang pamilya mo."

These comments are harmful and prevent many moms from seeking the help they need. That’s why raising awareness about BPD among Filipino families is crucial. It’s not just “being dramatic.” It’s a mental health condition that deserves compassion and professional support.

What Can Moms with BPD Do?

1. Seek Professional Help

Therapy, especially Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), can be life-changing. In the Philippines, more psychologists and counselors are becoming accessible via online sessions. Don’t be afraid to reach out.

2. Join Support Communities

Online support groups for moms with BPD or mental health challenges can be a safe space to share, vent, and find encouragement. You are not alone.

3. Use Grounding Techniques

When you feel triggered, try grounding exercises:

• 5-4-3-2-1 Sensory Method
• Deep breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4)
• Journaling or art

Stepping outside for sunlight and fresh air

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a hurting child. Remind yourself:

“I’m doing my best with the tools I have.”

“I am allowed to have bad days. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad mom.”

“Healing takes time. And that’s okay.”

If you’re reading this and feel like you’re drowning in guilt, shame, or confusion, please know this: you are not broken. You are not alone. You are still a good mom.

Your love for your children, your awareness of your struggles, and your willingness to fight through the chaos every day are already proof of your strength. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but every small step counts.

Let’s start normalizing conversations around BPD and other mental health challenges in motherhood. Let’s create spaces where moms can speak freely, receive help, and raise their children with love—even amid emotional storms.

ALSO READ: How to Raise Teens as a First-Time Teenage Mom

Resources for Filipina Moms with BPD

National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) Crisis Hotline: 1553 or 0917-899-USAP

MentalHealthPH: https://mentalhealthph.org

BetterHelp or MindNation (for online therapy)

Facebook support groups like “Mental Health Support Philippines” or “BPD Support Group PH”

Have you or someone you love experienced BPD as a mom? Share your story, thoughts, or questions in the comments. Let’s build a community of compassion and healing. 

Becoming a mother as a teenager is life-changing—and raising a teenager when you’re still young yourself? That’s a whole different kind of journey. As a first-time teenage mom, you're navigating two roads at once: figuring out your own life while helping shape someone else's. It's not easy, but it’s deeply meaningful, and yes—you can thrive while raising a teen.

Here at Nanay Kikay, I want to speak from experience and encouragement. If you’re a young mom like me raising teens, this post is for you. Whether you're feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or even discouraged, know that you’re not alone.

1. Build a Relationship Before Rules

Teenagers don’t respond well to control, but they do respond to connection. The earlier you build a strong, respectful relationship with your child, the easier it becomes to guide them as they grow.

Spend time with them. Ask about their interests. Watch their favorite shows or play their games with them. Make memories not just as a parent, but as someone they can trust.

📝 Related post: Why Intentional Bonding Time Matters as a Mom

2. Parent With Purpose, Not Perfection

As teenage moms, we often feel like we have something to prove. The world already has opinions about us—so we work twice as hard, right? But let me remind you: You don’t have to be perfect.

You just have to be present.

Set clear rules, yes—but also be flexible. Create routines, but allow grace for when things fall apart. Use your story to guide, not to shame. Our imperfections can teach our children valuable life lessons.

3. Be Open to Learning (and Unlearning)

There is no one-size-fits-all manual for parenting, especially when you’re young. Be willing to learn, and also be brave enough to unlearn what doesn’t work. Social media, books, podcasts, and mom communities can be a goldmine of encouragement and wisdom.

Also, listen to your teen. Sometimes, they’ll teach you more than any parenting book ever could.

📝 Check out: My Favorite Parenting Reads and Podcasts

4. Communicate, Don’t Lecture

Teenagers are full of emotions and thoughts they often can’t express. That’s why instead of lectures, they need conversations.

Ask open-ended questions like:

• “How are you really feeling today?”

• “What do you think about what happened at school?”

• “What’s something I could do better as your mom?”

These conversations, especially when done during car rides or quiet moments, build emotional safety.

5. Lead with Love, Even When It’s Hard

Sometimes, you’ll be met with rolled eyes, slammed doors, or silence. Don’t take it personally. Teens are figuring themselves out—just like we were.

In those hard moments, remind yourself: Your love is their anchor. Hug them even when they don’t ask. Say “I’m proud of you” even after a disagreement. Speak life over them even when they mess up.

6. Grow Spiritually Together

If you’re a faith-filled mom, involve your teen in your spiritual journey. Pray together when you can. Talk about values that matter. Let them see your faith in action—not just on Sundays, but in how you live, love, and forgive.

📝 You might also like: Nurturing Faith at Home: Raising Children with Christian Values

7. Take Care of You, Too

Burnout is real. As a teenage mom, you might still be studying, working, or chasing personal dreams—and that’s okay! Don't forget to take care of your heart, too.

Even 10 minutes of self-care makes a difference. Journal, pray, stretch, read, do your skincare—whatever refuels you.

📝 Check out this post: Quick Self-Care Ideas for Busy Moms

8. Celebrate Progress, Not Just Milestones

Maybe your teen finally opened up to you. Maybe you stayed calm during a stressful argument. Maybe you both laughed after a long day.

Celebrate those moments. That’s progress. That’s parenting.

Raising teens is never easy, but raising them as a young mom can be a powerful and redemptive experience. You are not behind. You are not “less than.” In fact, you have something special—empathy, resilience, and strength beyond your years.

Your story matters. Your child is lucky to have you. And every time you choose love, grace, and growth—you are planting seeds of a beautiful future.

When you’re a wife, a mom to a busy toddler, the household cook, and you're living under the same roof as your in-laws—it’s a lot.

It’s a beautiful kind of hard. Some days feel like blessings wrapped in chaos. Other days feel like you’re tiptoeing between keeping the peace and keeping yourself from falling apart.

I’m sharing this not just as a blogger or mom, but as a woman living this reality daily. If you're navigating married life while raising little ones in a shared home, know this: you are not alone. It is possible to protect your peace, honor your role, and care for your family and yourself at the same time—with grace and wisdom.

In this post, I want to share some gentle routines, faith-based encouragement, and practical tips that have helped me breathe easier, set boundaries lovingly, and show up as the wife and mom God is calling me to be—even in a full household.

1. Pray for Wisdom and a Gentle Spirit Daily

Before anything else, start your day with prayer. Ask God for discernment, peace, and grace in your words and actions. Living with in-laws can test your patience, but remember:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

2. Keep Communication Open with Your Husband

Make sure you and your husband are on the same team. Talk regularly about how you’re feeling—not to complain, but to share your emotional load. Let him know if something is hard for you, and try to find small ways he can support you emotionally or practically.

Tip: Avoid venting about his family to him when tensions are high. Choose a calm moment and speak from your heart.

3. Create Routines that Protect Your Peace

With a 2-year-old and cooking responsibilities, your time and energy are stretched. Build a routine that allows you and your child to have consistent rest, bonding time, and alone time—even if it’s just 20 quiet minutes a day.

If possible:

• Have morning play/devotion time with your baby

• Prepare meals in batches to save energy

• Plan a few moments each day just for YOU—even just sipping coffee while your baby naps

4. Respect Their Space While Maintaining Yours

In a shared home, respect is key. But so is healthy emotional space. Here’s how:

• Be kind and polite, but don’t feel obligated to over-explain your parenting or household choices unless asked

• Respect their house rules, but calmly set boundaries when needed (e.g. baby’s nap time, parenting decisions)

• Choose your battles—every comment doesn’t need a reaction

5. Ask for Help—You Don’t Have to Do It All Alone

If you’re doing all the cooking and child-rearing, it’s okay to ask for help—from your husband, from a relative, or even asking someone to watch the baby for 15 minutes so you can take a bath in peace.

You don’t have to be a superhero. Jesus Himself took time to rest.

6. Practice Gratitude, But Don’t Guilt Yourself

You might feel like you “should be grateful” for having a place to stay or family around—but that doesn’t mean your struggles aren’t valid. Gratitude and frustration can exist in the same heart.

Write down 3 things you’re thankful for each day—and also name one thing you need to surrender to God.

7. Build Your Identity Beyond the Home

You are more than a cook, more than a mom, more than a wife. Continue nurturing your passions—your blog, crochet, your dreams. These things matter. They keep your spirit alive.

8. Seek Support from Other Women

You are not alone. Many women live with in-laws, raise babies, and try to keep the peace while building a life. Talk to friends, join a mom group, or message someone you trust.

Sometimes, just saying “this is hard” to someone who understands is enough to lighten the load.

Trust God’s Timing and Direction

This season may not be forever. Whether it’s temporary or long-term, God can work through it.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:14

This incident involving Hongty, a man in China who reportedly manipulated over 1,600 men into romantic or emotional affairs to receive gifts, has gone viral—and it certainly raised a lot of questions about online deception, vulnerability, and the psychology of relationships in the digital age.

VIRAL SHOCKER IN CHINA: “Hong Ty” Who Slept with Thousands of Men Turns Out to Be a 38-Year-Old Man!

A scandal recently exploded across Chinese social media involving a mysterious figure nicknamed “Hong Ty”, who appeared in dozens of explicit videos with different men: university students, fitness trainers, office workers, and even foreigners.

In every video, “Hong Ty” appeared to be a woman mature, confident, and friendly. The setting was always the same: a small, simple room with a fixed camera angle. According to insiders, each man who visited was asked to bring gifts like milk, cooking oil, watermelon, or household items making the scenes look casual and transactional.

Netizens were shocked by how comfortable and natural the interactions seemed leading many to assume “Hong Ty” was an older woman exploring her sexuality. Memes, jokes, and remixes began flooding Douyin and Weibo.

But on the evening of July 8, everything changed.

The Jiangning District Police in Nanjing announced that “Hong Ty” was not a woman at all but a 38-year-old man surnamed Xiao, from another province. He had been posing as a woman, engaging in sexual acts with numerous men, filming the encounters, and uploading them online.

He was arrested on July 6 and is now under criminal detention for “disseminating obscene materials”, a serious offense under Chinese law. #repost

#HongTy #RedUncle #3KMenReVeal #Viral #trendingvideoreels

Here are some key takeaways, framed fairly and respectfully for all genders and orientations, including members of the LGBTQ+ community:

Key Takeaways from the Hongty Incident

Gifts ≠ Love

Digital Personas Can Be Deceiving

Men Can Be Emotionally Vulnerable Too

What Can Women Learn from This?

While scrolling through TikTok beauty hauls (as usual!), I came across a local creator raving about the Maffick Soft Velvet Lipsticks. I saw the aesthetic packaging, the swatches on morena skin, and the budget-friendly price… and of course, I gave in. Within minutes, I was checking out a bundle of 4 shades on TikTok Shop.

I’ve tested them all, worn them on different days, and even brought them with me on a recent trip. So, if you're eyeing Maffick and wondering if it's worth the hype — here’s my honest, Nanay Kikay-approved review of these trending lippies!

What Is Maffick?

Maffick is a cruelty-free beauty brand that’s been going viral online for its ultra-soft matte lipstick formulas and minimalist packaging. Their products are often described as dupes of high-end Korean and Western lipsticks — but with shades made to flatter Southeast Asian skin tones, especially Pinays.

The Soft Velvet Lipstick line is known for its moussey, cloud-like texture and soft-blur finish. Perfect for an everyday kikay kit — especially if you're a lipstick lover who’s always on the lookout for budget finds that feel high-end.

First Impressions

When the package arrived from TikTok Shop, I was instantly impressed by the look and feel of the product. Each lipstick is housed in a frosted matte tube with a magnetic closure (yes, may click!), giving it that luxury feel — even though all four only cost me around ₱160 in a bundle deal!

I ordered these four shades:

02 Coral Sunrise

03 Dusty Rose

05 Brick Red

06 Burnt Terracotta

Swatches and Shade Breakdown (on Morena Skin)

Let’s get into the fun part: the colors! I have medium to warm morena skin, and all four shades turned out to be flattering and wearable in different moods and occasions.

Shade 02 – Coral Sunrise

This shade is a soft peachy-coral with warm undertones. It gives me that “fresh out of bed but still blooming” vibe. It’s the perfect MLBB (My Lips But Better) shade for everyday errands, school drop-offs, or even lounging at home.

✔ Best for: everyday wear, natural makeup

✔ Pairs well with: cream blush and dewy skin

Shade 03 - Dusty Rose

A flattering pink with just the right amount of mauve. This shade leans neutral, making it super wearable for both warm and cool skin tones. It’s the kind of color you’d reach for when you want to look polished but effortless.

✔ Best for: brunch, meetings, simple glam

✔ Pairs well with: soft brown eyeliner and nude cheeks

Shade 05 – Brick Red

A deep, dramatic red-brown shade that feels sultry but wearable. This shade makes me feel put-together, powerful, and classy, even when I’m wearing just a basic tee and jeans.

✔ Best for: date night, events, power dressing

✔ Pairs well with: matte base, strong brows, and lashes

Shade 06 – Burnt Terracotta

This was my surprise favorite! A bold terracotta-orange with a warm base that instantly warms up the face. I wore this during a content shoot and the shade just popped against my morena skin.

✔ Best for: confident, bold days

✔ Pairs well with: bronzer, warm-toned eyeshadow, and gold accessories

Formula, Texture & Comfort

The Maffick Soft Velvet Lipsticks live up to their name. The formula feels like a whipped mousse that glides on smoothly and sets to a soft matte finish without drying the lips. It’s lightweight, which is perfect for long wear, especially for busy moms like me who don't have time for constant re-application.

I love that the pigment is buildable — you can do a light dab for a soft Korean gradient effect, or swipe it fully for a bolder look.

No cracking, no tight feeling, and it fades nicely into a subtle tint after meals.

Longevity: How Long Does It Last?

For its price point, the wear time is impressive. I’d say:

Light wear = 3 to 4 hours

With meals/snacks = slight fading, but still leaves a flattering stain

With reapplication = very easy to layer without looking cakey

Where to Buy + Tips

I bought mine from the official Maffick Beauty PH TikTok Shop. Watch out for bundles, TikTok livestream discounts, and free shipping promos!

They also have other lip products, like tints and glosses, that I’m now tempted to try (hello payday cart 😅).

If you’re:

A lipstick lover on a budget

A mom who wants to look fresh without full glam

Someone who appreciates high-end packaging without the guilt

...then this Maffick lipstick set is absolutely worth it.

For less than ₱200, you get four versatile shades, comfortable wear, and packaging that looks straight out of a luxury vanity.

If you’re starting your kikay kit or looking for a daily lipstick upgrade, start with Shades 02 and 06 — they’re morena-friendly, multi-purpose, and go with almost any outfit.

Have you tried Maffick too?

Let’s chika in the comments — tell me your fave shade or tag me @NanayKikayPH on Instagram and TikTok with your swatches. I’d love to see your glow!

[BUY ONE TAKE ONE]MAFFICK Lace Honey Light Matte long-lasting non-stick lipstick https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSBbNcb9a/

Next up: Should I try their blush or velvet tint next? Let me know what you want reviewed! 💋🧡

@nanaykikayph

lipstick na matte and very pigmented plus nice shades? scroll no more check this one out matte Lippies for only less than 200 get yours now.

♬ original sound - Mhima Sol 🌸

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Affiliate Disclosure:
This post contains affiliate links. If you click on one and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products or services I personally use and trust. Thank you for supporting my blog

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